28 Jul 2012, 9:48pm
General Glad Game Link Dump


Okay, now I get why people say blogging is for winter not summer. I feel behind in computer-related yet it takes a backseat to roadtrip on own two feet.

Spotted: A white fluffy dog, head hanging out for the breeze…of the backpack of the cyclist.

Waitress laughing at my restaurant menu method. My eyes closed as Bri spins the menu and I go eenie, meenie…

People on a bicycle built for two but she looked like a child on the backseat behind the huge man. He described the upcoming terrain (wooden bridge being bumpy) as she couldn’t see past him. Hm, sure there’s a good reason.

Amusing how sounds bleed in. While reading a sentence referring to a drill and one starts across the street.

We happened into a chamber music festival cello quartet giving a free outdoors concert. Wish a traditional chinese song they were doing weren’t a few seconds short of the length of church bells but that’s how it goes, outdoors.

morning glory
Morning glories.

Betty Boop: A little soap and water is wonderfully creative. The line between real and imagination dissolves. I suppose this is what I liked most about the movie Amelie, the malleability or reality.

A back issue of Ottawa magazine had an article on taking the stigma off depression. I’m used to checklists of signs about moods, disinterest, changing appetite, but this rang different bells. Unexplained body pains, extra amount of sleep, memory issues, and panic attacks? Didn’t consider those related.

Anyone seen The Captains: a film by William Shatner? The trailer sounds interesting.

Sabah is a romcom, filmed in Toronto about a self-determination vs. family duties quandry of a Syrian-Canadian. Good film. People work thru stuff instead of that Hollywood habit of characters and relationships going downhill. It’s on Netflix.

Glad Game: Cycling holding hands.

Online radio has a classical guitar channel. Sweet. Who knew.

Funny how by random timing we happened into 3 people we knew. How often do we walk near those we know who we don’t know are there because they just turned a corner or stepped out of view?

A month until our 17 year wedding anniversary but we started celebrating today.

Quote: “Unraveling is not a bad thing. It’s not coming undone or losing control. It’s letting go in the best possible way, untangling the knots that hold you back” ~ Susannah Conway in This I Know: Notes on the Unravelling Heart [via someone’s status update(?)]

23 Jul 2012, 9:40pm
Glad Game Photos
Comments Off on Finally Rain, Sweet Snail o’ Mine and Misc Good

Finally Rain, Sweet Snail o’ Mine and Misc Good

red bean flower
Red flowers of the beam.

ripening tomatoes
Yesterday 4 ripened. Today 8. Considering how loaded the branches are, this could get mighty tomato-y, mighty fast.

giraffe snail
A snail giraffes up our composter. Ok, despite what I said, it’s its own snail.

wonderful liquid body
Wonderfully amorphous liquid body.

Glad Game: Rain. Sandals. Sand on toes. Heat. Shower settings. Fresh peaches. Earth growing beans; first harvest probably tomorrow. 24 hour grocery stores. Man busking classic country at the farmer’s market. Magic walls that ancient Romans didn’t have where you press numbers and money comes out. A new pepper mill.

Summer evening at the beach
Sunset walk on the beach (photo by Brian)

st. rolling in the rain
Also snails. One more gratuitous snail pic.

The quick ease of email. Night cycling. Changing my own bike tires tube. Poetry workshops soon and a crowd of interested and interesting people. Cashew cream. Superfast mail; dropped in the mailbox at 4:30pm Friday, received in another town at 10 a.m. Monday. (And sometimes it takes 7-10 days.) A terrific thump of thunder that vibrated in the house. Good stuff to read.

These mechanical servants so that I can write this with them on task of doing dishes and laundry. The grease and whatever that orange stain was came out. Remembered my desk has another wing that can lift; more work surface, yay. It took 7 months but I finally feel moved into my office. My dad’s pennants. Turkeys are big as a deer. Awesome Ottawa. People who wear a bikini in late pregnancy or elders who need crutches and yet still wear swim trunks. It scandalizes me a little and yet good for them. Not biting my nails; white nail at the end of all the fingers. 1 month of no chocolate daily. An HIV prevention drug. This documentary. The beauty of long golden hour between the pine trees. Hand drumming coming from the river. Walking in the rain into the warm home again.

Quote: “It is a sad fact about our culture that a poet can earn much more money writing or talking about his art than he can by practicing it.” ~ W.H. Auden

18 Jul 2012, 1:02pm

A Garden-Quiet

Get me indoors and I quite forget there’s an outdoors. Get me outside and I never want to come in.

infant eggplant
What have we here? Infant eggplant under the tomato canopy.

runner beans
The bean pods are thickening.

Lake view with frog song.

A chipper digging for good things.

by the frog pond spot in the sun
A few hours of getaway.

Quote: “You tell me that silence/is nearer to peace than poems/but if for my gift/I brought you silence/ (for I know silence)/ you would say /this is not silence/ this is another poem/ and you would hand it back to me.” ~ Leonard Cohen, Gifts, Oxford Anthology of Canadian Literature

What Matters

The quiet sit.

The dazzling minutia is true. The white out of muchness too.

The fast spin forward in a direction you chose.

The brainfog is a fogbank on waking some days. Not today, but there are patterns in cause and responses. It’s good to be aware of patterns.

It’s a given that it takes more energy to get less done in brainfog. One can slow down and pick forward carefully or thrash and crash.

Brainfog is demoralizing because I know I can do better, because I have. No, more accurately, it’s demoralizing because it’s an unfair comparison; each day is what it is. Jumping on myself will only practice making myself more jumpy. I have to direct compassion towards myself and cultivate a curiosity not a punishment-attitude.

By getting snippety at myself I’ll only thicken the fog. It’s defensive by nature, a white flag indicating something amiss. Maybe its the aftershadow of nightmare that lowers function. Maybe its caffeine-drop, or hunger. Maybe its a storm system coming thru the joints. It’s a flag to say pay attention and see what’s going on. Maybe there’s no cause I can see.

The body has ideal conditions and it speaks up more loudly each year if its needs aren’t respected thru an number of attention gambits. If those don’t elicit change, brain fog. Maybe I’ve not given myself enough rest or sustained long-run activity, or right body fuel, or right ratio of solitude and social, or of physical and intellectual. Or not appropriately compensating for days when my pain threshold is lower and barrelling forward regardless.

There’s frustration at the length of time and amount of energy it takes to keep on track, gather the scattered (keys, wallet, bag, ipod and notebook, to decide not to bring the camera). Decisions are harder. My brain screens out irrelevant things less well. The weighting of things is less obvious. Proportional response and proportional perception are skewed.

Choose your tasks is as important as choose your battles.

eyebrow window
Raising an eyebrow, brick by brick, scandalizing yourself.

The long view is also true. It’s tricky because change your mind in any direction and it seems true.

Good, bad and neutral are all quite insistent on coming.

For example, the plan last week was Hub and I cycle to downtown, pick up a couple items, then he goes a different direction from there while I head home. 20 minutes into the ride to shop, I realize I autopiloted and brought my other bag, the one with the camera and no i.d., no bike lock keys, no money. But hubby had wallet and keys and we could lock our bikes up together and he could give me his key to get home.

I’d like to grimace and hate being myself, except that would be overblown. It was a false emergency. Shopping didn’t “have to” be done then. It’s neutral. Yet the shopping got done because of that sweet Hub being organized and just moving us forward instead of my tailspinning over what Might Have.

And because we felt like sitting we wandered where we wouldn’t have and bumped into a friend. I had my camera on me and got a photo-op I’d been wanting and wouldn’t have had, had I brought the “right” bag.

Brian and I went our ways home and I missed the turn for the ramp to the canal so took the stairs. I tangled with my bike but didn’t fall. A couple came behind me and said I’ll help with that and they took turns helping me carry the bike down 4 flights.

If I were a minute earlier or later, none of this would have occurred.

And if I took any longer coming home, I’d have missed the food delivery lady who is always so cheerful.

Cycling yesterday, I could have got distressed at my planned route being closed off to traffic. I could have fell flat at an unexpected change of plans, but it’s all exploration. I can dead-reckon. I have many alternate route open. There are never just 2 options.

And because I didn’t take my planned path, as I was cycling thru downtown I saw 3 little kids with a lemonade stand. All short-cut hair and big hopes. A stool for a table and a big pitcher of pink lemonade. The wee boy was probably no more than 4. His brothers or cousins, all in their sandals, khaki shorts and t-shirts like 3 sizes of one person, were ready for customers as Wee One called out to passersby.

I automatically said no, then remembered Life Rule: never refuse lemonade from a kid’s lemonade stand.

I remembered some spare change tucked away for phone. I asked if the wee one if he could make change for a dollar? He mused for a bit, picking up quarters and dimes and examining him. His big brother helped him out. I downed one and asked for another. The little boy lit up, and said, “she must really like it!”

Quote: “There are persons who, when they cease to shock us, cease to interest us.” ~ Francis H. Bradley

10 Jul 2012, 4:41pm
General Photos

What? Hm?

Terribly Important Things are Happening. (As Terribly Important Things are in the habit of doing.)

Think, Pooh, think. Pooh? Pooo-oooh?

But Pooh is already dreaming again of honey.

bee in the oregano
Bees move in the oregano blossoms. Mm, honey.

English cucumber
English cucumbers grip with tiny fists.

Ontario fields
Fields with clouds overflowing.

Port Elmsley drive-in theatre
Later tonight people will gather at Port Elmsley Drive-in Theatre.

It’s nearly cicada-song warm again. Sun. Sunner, summer.

And soon another cycle nap.

Quote: “To finally sink onto her towel its warm nap like fur rubbing her back into her body.” ~ Daphne Marlatt, p. 45, Zocalo

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