Getting My Own Goat

Sheep nibbles washing
Ok, you got me. It’s a sheep, not a goat. And it’s not mine.

The slide is from 1928. It was taken by South Shields Photographic Society’s photographer Harrison Burgess. It is from ‘Tyne & Wear Archives & Museums‘ on Flickr.

Fact remains, something’s turning my knickers inside out.

I must be living wrong. As many adjustments as I make, I’m still rewarded with a migraine.

It’s ragweed season. I exposed myself to the outdoors. And to florescent lights. And threw off my sleep schedule. But Ain’t I lucky I can still breathe in

Still, it’s hard to not woe-is-me. If I had the energy I’d get righteous and become mad, sick and tired or being sick, and tired. But I’m too tired.

So the body says Whoa when I want it to say Go. I woke up this morning with 10 more hours of waking, more or less like yesterday. Then butt-dragging begins again in earnest.

The post-migraine troughs are flat energy, body fatigue, weepy-sensitivity. I’m tiresome, but mostly to others only if I talk. Maybe.

I had another good day, or rather the hours that were good were. Some warm company and conversation. Even life without sunglasses and with motion for a bit with quiet puttering and slow walks.

The lesson of the year for me seems to be how to embrace bitterness and envy or find a way around these. I find a resentment for what I don’t get. What would it be like to go as much as 3 days without nausea? Or to have the capacity I had at 25 to live on air, love and ideas, with the odd slurp of instant noodles and skip 2 or 3 days of sleep?

What would a full life for me look like that is different from now? Is this full or just overfilled? I have to take more pains to prioritize what gives me energy back, not the safe bets, necessarily, not making jaded dismissals, sour graping, but knowing how little energy I’m liable to be doled in a day, what to not waste thought-energy on. What rewards? What’s worthwhile? What could reward but I’m mentally elsewhere during? Mindfulness is the lesson under the lesson. Compassion and letting go.

Matryoshka dolls
It gets me to consider self as matryoshka dolls. You can take off the outer layers that bother. You can extract the inner layers that bother, but eventually when you take off all the parts that are a problems, what do you have left? Open air, an absence, not an essence. A space with a capacity to put something. A dispirited, malfunctioning self, perhaps?

Quote: “Why do you see winter/in every season, my little heart?” ~ Nathan Hunt in Affection for Small Things

29 Aug 2012, 10:35am
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Summer’s a Spectator Sport, right?

Tow-in skimboarding

lone mushroom
Lone mushroom crusader.

heart of the forest
Heart of the Forest.

Carve-a-tunnel syndrome.



Between this trip to Lac Leamy and various other trips and errands by the end of the week I expect to have cycled over 80km. Go legs, go.

Quote: “Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.” ~ William Hazlitt

28 Aug 2012, 12:37pm
Arts Citizenship Equity Events, Holidays and Festivals Ottawa Photos
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Ottawa Humane Society Party fundraiser

Rachelle, Marielle, Lise were among the volunteer directing people on Sunday.

Here a crew from NAC’s Le CafĂ© were prepping. A lot of restaurants and food shops were involved in making the day and raising money for the shelter which has been running since 1988.

P8261861 P8261885
Cupcakes from The Cake Shop for a good cause: The Humane Society. Stubbe Chocolates was also there, showing the process of cocoa and giving out gingery-chocolates.

All kinds of chefs were hard at work prepping for the seemingly endless tide of people. There’s more on the food angle at Eaten Up

Ron Eade
Ron Eade said a few words as people gathered before the live auction cracked open.

This crowd was soon about to test their arms. The auctioneer said it’s a tradition for the first item for everyone to make the bid of $1 just to prove everything worked.

All around the tables were the area for seeing various individuals. Some dogs all seemed eager to greet.

kitty nap
Cats, being cats, mostly ignored the hubbub.

Thanks to Knock on Wood Communications & Events we were able to take in the event.

In the end $35,000 was raised, compared to over $39,000 last round. That sounds like a lot but their annual expenses for shelter, clinic, building and all those expensive etcertas ran at over $4.2 million last year, over an $88,000 shortfall. Each year they adopt out 3700 cats, dogs and small domestic pets. It may cost $200-$350 to adopt a dog or cat, $27-200 to adopt a bird, or $7 for a house, but that cost of medical care and housing would boil down to $1300 each.

The next fundraiser is Wiggle Waggle Walkathon Sept 9.

Quote: “Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal.” ~ Winston Churchill

22 Aug 2012, 11:20am


hanging out the wash

watching grass grow

(Psst, recipe at Eaten Up in a couple days.)

Wordless Others

Quote: “Disclosure is a process rather than a one-time event.” ~ Jennifer Schneider

20 Aug 2012, 3:52pm
Arts Link Dump Photos Poem Drafts
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How it Goes

Everything isn’t coming up roses: there are mixed bouquets of flowers too.

Rick came up from NY for a haiku meeting and gave these with a flourish for us for hosting. It was a good mellow gathering of haiku poets from all over region. A compelling thing about haiku is that there isn’t room to allow a weak syllable or not the quite right word. Nothing maudlin or overstated or editorial. We can round table a single poem of a dozen syllables for 10 minutes or so.

There’s a balance of work and play, however fragile the balance is. There’s busywork around here: cooking, doing house maintenance, painting outdoors, weeding, seeding, watering grass and catching up on emails.

It’s hard to think that a year ago we were living in a condo and on vacation staying at an apartment in Paris for a month, checking out the lively literary scene and absorbing as much pastries as viable.

And here, a year later, we have a yard, a barbecue and wicker. (What next, a puppy?) (Please, no one drop me off a puppy.)

There’s something about a house that domesticates us. Something about being able to putter in dirt. There’s a gift in not being able to overhear whatever street ruffians are raving high and loud about. A flock of darling starlings seems far saner place to situate oneself. It feels useful to grow some of our own food. Swapping herbal tea for cocoa does a part in de-rattling myself too.

There’s a seriously messed up system of cutting health care from immigrants and refugees, and worse protection of environment, but outside this box of country, 1 guy has spent 25 years trying to decode Prairie Dog communication and Madagascar has made a step to protect 1/5 of the species of lemurs with a special zone. And people are banding together in to create a network to report, spread word and find horses that were stolen and get them reunited with who they used to live with. There are moments when one is cautiously hopeful. After all, grassroots is often another road of marketing so its worthwhile keeping cynicism alive. Good there are moments of feeling more informed. This article on gluten as a poison is fascinating. [Via Rowdy Kittens] And this list of inflammatory vs safe foods for not exacerbating physical and mental health.

Here’s 2 minutes of 2 poems of mine from last week at the Tree Reading Series. I hadn’t planned on reading but my usual excuse that I didn’t bring anything hardly held water. More than half a dozen people in the room saw the poems I brought to workshop in the Tree Seed Workshop right before.

There’s now 500 videos on site from open mic, feature readers, poet and poetics talks. If you want to start in to peruse the new, catch these two: David Blaikie and pithy Shai Ben-Shalom from last week as well.

Quote: “He who never made a mistake never made a discovery.” ~ Samuel Smiles

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