Thursday chunked into 13 bits with a bunch of people each doing their own twist.
- sometimes with blogging, or conversation, or any writing, there’s an almost infinite number of directions any one point could go.
- and after a pause, any possible point.
- there seem to be invisible prescribed rules that everyone denies except for the thumbnail of assumptions.
- arbitrary rules cultivate stick-it-outness past the obvious stop-points—for example, I can’t stop my to-do list until I make it to the last of the 32 lines on the page. sub-tasks count. as does: remember to make lunch.
- the brain might try to take a conservative route and get fancy parking points for linking and looping back or smoothly hocketing forward making a third entity that is neither speaker’s intent or perhaps even interest but trying to create the commonality so further talking can be established. which is good but Potentially More Complex aka Over-thought and Over-wrought Than Necessary. If interlocutor is giving scorecards for finesse that are making you tetchy, maybe time to call fowl (cluck, cluck), or say dance card says I go to that person now.
- subject navigation can be stressful unto silence, awkwardness, spiral of banal, inane, or dear heavens, weather.
- please not weather.
- and yet we can survive even the mildest and harshest of weather and just take a breath and plunge forward anyway.
- plans are smoothest when retroactive anyway.
- soooo, what were we saying? coyotes, oil baddies
- did you see the city is posting by-laws on some lightposts. can’t say you didn’t have access.
- I’m making a twitter habit of incorporating into the subject other species. tiresome to be about human, human, human all the time.
- I’ve got a lot of readings and workshops coming up in April but expect to get it all squared and set before Versefest hits town on Tuesday.
13 randomalia for Thursday 13 from the recesses of my mind,
- At some point, anything you are is your own work. I mean, zeitgeist and compromises to meet people halfway civilly, aside.
- Still, I wonder how much I impede my mandates. For poverty Baptists “momentum” is that urge to cut yourself off at the knees to keep you in the station god first put you in.
- Fatalism was consumed at a dangerous age. But perhaps the mind unless cultivated otherwise starts fatalistic, overextending the rules in the act of perceiving patterns.
- I suppose we’re all in our circles Venn diagrams with our own pasts, presents, others.
- Someone with a reliably poor sense of judgement, don’t you find, is as useful as someone with reliably excellent taste? So long as there’s constant bars, you don’t have to go thru all the thick data all the time. An energy-saver right there, provided you know when the pattern changes, and get the pattern right.
- Wavelength is an odd things. I think it can be learned. It can be widened by respectful curiosity and cultivating a lack of threat. Still, the spine-zing yes, does it widen or is it just the clench of no that slacks off?
- Stronger than protestant work ethic is protestant guilt ethic. It’s in there just trying to hijack the intellect to find an excuse to articulate what the vague omnidirectional sense of guilt is about and then contain it one room so it’s not such a pest.
- Basically it plays the same game as depression, grief, desire, mischief, happiness or any other energy. It vies to be The Argument of the Mandala of the Universe. Each is redirectible, deflectable, modifiable but largely irrepressible as a force of wind or rain.
- The Buddhist tip of acknowledge and dismiss instead of stoically ignore works better, at least at this stage. It’s probably like spam and ups its counter-game eventually.
- A ponder loop: is that them, or is that really about me? Or, could that be right? For example, You sure are skilled at shutting people out. [Ahhh, family time.]
- Thanks for the affirmations. [Seems I get that a lot. Does active listening or echo and extend shut out dialogue or only for those who have a model of conflict and thrash or commiseration and anything but is paternalistic?]
- You see things from a totally different perspective… wonder is that a language barrier or if you’re playing devil’s advocate. [Is my angle that unique? As Richard Greene put it "Originality is your own little part of the weird".]
- Life is giving you the time to do it. Are you?
Noteable Quotable: “I don’t have much admiration for people who say they have no regrets. They must be afraid, or incapable, of considering the things left undone. You can’t walk every path; you can’t even walk two paths. You can only walk one. And that leaves ten thousand wells undrawn, ten thousand shafts unmined, an infinity of wealth and wisdom unattained, no matter how much you manage to know in this narrow life. Deploring your human limits is a form of gratitude.” Robin at Rusty Ring
How’ve y’all been anyway? Haven’t dropped by Thirteen Thursday for a long while.
I’ve been meaning to make a list of favorite books read last year. How to choose from 163 titles? Some books, not these, are a slog with diminishing returns. Some fade from memory. How to know what’ll last? Some that have seem to have lasted with good cause. Some are new. Some of the new books from 13 I still haven’t got to yet.
Gut-reckon, I guess. Looking today, what struck me as I enjoyed most, or found most tasty, these:
- Astrophel and Stella by Philip Sidney, sonnet series of unrequited love, (1580s)
- Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl. Written by Herself, by Harriet Ann Jacobs, autobiogrpahy, 1813-1897.
- Complete Surprising Fragments of Improbable Books by Stephen Brockwell, poetry, (Mansfield Press, 2013)
- The Hollow and other Fictions by Richard Truhlar, post-apocolyptic linked short story/novel (Mercury, 2005)
- The Barefoot Shepherdess and Women of the Dales by Yvette Huddleston and Walter Swan, interviews with wildly different life paths of women in English Dales, (Scratching Shed Publishing Ltd, 2012)
- Agony by Steve Zultanski, poetry of hyperbolic numbers, (BookThug, 2012)
- geographies of a lover by Sarah de Leeuw, poetry of a relationship with a person and a country, (NeWest Press, 2012)
- The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elizabeth Tova Bailey, autobiography of a shut-in learning about her pet, (Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 2010)
- Slow Lightning by Eduardo C Corral, poetry, (Yale University Press, 2012)
- Pavilion of Women by Pearl S. Buck, novel of pre-Mao China in extended family house, (Book, 1946),
- The Small Nouns Crying Faith, Phil Hall, poetry (BookThug 2013)
- Notebook of Roses by Nicole Brossard translated by Robert Majzels and Erin Moure, poetry, (Coach House, 2007)
- Boating for Beginners, Jeanette Winterson novel, alternate telling of Noah’s Arc in contemporary, (Minerva, 1985)
Quote: “Master your instrument, master the music, then forget all that bullshit and just play!” ~ Charlie Parker, – Verve Records
So this is winter. What have we done? The shovel and the shove of snow by the old ones has begun.
Another bank higher and a new one, what fun.
finding a certain traction
Just a little snow on the trail. Keep pedalling
- Stellae Boreales kids classical concert is just one of many Christmas in Ottawa events. Now that we have snow, the season can start. It has my permission.
snow falls from snowfall.
peek a tree
on a similar note
- And on a different note, make your own Tudor costumes, or make a flat cap? I feel like they must come from hat trees. Make one’s own hat. Imagine that. What else could boost happiness? 10 things
Quote: “To write is to think and to live — even to pray.” ~ Thomas Merton wrote in 1958 in his journal
This Thursday 13 is about listening, being present, cultivating an ear.
- turn compassion towards yourself. hear yourself out, all the way out, without interrupting or pointed questions or judgements that dismiss. preferably practice not while indulging someone else’s time.
- know yourself by observing, resistances in the body, scanning for tension held in neck, back, hand, foot. threat or defending self are resistances as well. know what state you’re in.
- with others, lean in and look at who you talk with. chasing the person’s eye is not the same as eye contact.
- you are taming one another by learning one another and building a path to equality so give the space and time to let the other come towards you while remaining available. it is not unilateral. you can’t force the other to your agenda and timing of being cared for and caring. quality bonding time in 9, 8, 7.. (and for x number of minutes).
- no multitasking. only listen. collect all that the other person says and the gaps and omissions and body language mismatches.
- don’t leap to correct or “dialogue”, just acknowledge, keep listening, not passively but discerning for when patterns emerge.
- spend some time mulling on what the person’s experience has been, piece together what things may have impacted how. cultivate curiosity and questions of what you don’t know.
- be prepared to witness, not fix. pity is recognizing someone as lesser and broken. compassion is recognizing everyone’s broken and different and the same.
- It’s empathetic to feel someone else’s hurt but learn to express and hear pain without throwing emotional turmoil into it or reacting with drama. A model of resilience and strategy, strength and neutrality allows respect and more communication.
- your head wants the stability of a label. form a theory but watch for confirmation bias. try to disprove yourself or the person as system. there’s no one answer.
- a document on Compassionate Listening* focussing on reconciliation and conflict resolution from Buddhism and Quakers applied to Palestine and Israel and Alaskan subsistence fishermen, but conflict and compassion is in every human and animal encounter. *[Compassionate Listening, An Exploratory Sourcebook About Conflict Transformation by Gene Knudsen Hoffman Leah Green and Cynthia Monroe]
Case Study? Lincoln High rethinking discipline and takes problems (fights or “laziness”) as an indicator of something wrong and inquires.
Quote: “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment” ~ Rumi