This Thursday 13 is about listening, being present, cultivating an ear.
- turn compassion towards yourself. hear yourself out, all the way out, without interrupting or pointed questions or judgements that dismiss. preferably practice not while indulging someone else’s time.
- know yourself by observing, resistances in the body, scanning for tension held in neck, back, hand, foot. threat or defending self are resistances as well. know what state you’re in.
- with others, lean in and look at who you talk with. chasing the person’s eye is not the same as eye contact.
- you are taming one another by learning one another and building a path to equality so give the space and time to let the other come towards you while remaining available. it is not unilateral. you can’t force the other to your agenda and timing of being cared for and caring. quality bonding time in 9, 8, 7.. (and for x number of minutes).
- no multitasking. only listen. collect all that the other person says and the gaps and omissions and body language mismatches.
- don’t leap to correct or “dialogue”, just acknowledge, keep listening, not passively but discerning for when patterns emerge.
- spend some time mulling on what the person’s experience has been, piece together what things may have impacted how. cultivate curiosity and questions of what you don’t know.
- be prepared to witness, not fix. pity is recognizing someone as lesser and broken. compassion is recognizing everyone’s broken and different and the same.
- It’s empathetic to feel someone else’s hurt but learn to express and hear pain without throwing emotional turmoil into it or reacting with drama. A model of resilience and strategy, strength and neutrality allows respect and more communication.
- your head wants the stability of a label. form a theory but watch for confirmation bias. try to disprove yourself or the person as system. there’s no one answer.
- a document on Compassionate Listening* focussing on reconciliation and conflict resolution from Buddhism and Quakers applied to Palestine and Israel and Alaskan subsistence fishermen, but conflict and compassion is in every human and animal encounter. *[Compassionate Listening, An Exploratory Sourcebook About Conflict Transformation by Gene Knudsen Hoffman Leah Green and Cynthia Monroe]
Case Study? Lincoln High rethinking discipline and takes problems (fights or “laziness”) as an indicator of something wrong and inquires.
Quote: “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment” ~ Rumi
Environment General On the Peace Path Ottawa Photos Thirteen Thursday
- Mer Bleu Bog is the remains of ancient rivers turned into peat moss, some 5 meters thick and accumulating for 8000 years.
- Search for peat moss and you turn up links on mining it! Here’s a beautiful thing. Let’s kill it and burn it. Didn’t we already learn that lesson in Ireland? It’s in a weird position of being protected ecosystem, until we raid its resources, much like Algonquin Park, trumpeted as wild and free, while being logged. Humans are weird.
Since 1971 with the Ramsar convention started in Iran and signed by 168 nations, there has been recognition of this area as one of a few (just over 2000) of the world’s unique unique wetlands.
- How amazing that timing was. A shutter-click later they had flown off from wherever they came from.
- The bird calls and lack of traffic sound percolating in, only wind in the grasses and trees made for a restful spot. It’s been too long since we were here last but you can’t get there by city bus, and it would make for an awfully long cycle. We tacked on the sidetrip to a car rental and took a wonderful break time.
- It takes a lot of space to breathe.
The 8600 acres conversation area has areas of sandbar islands (with chainlink around trees because there are beavers) and open water areas and open areas of bog that resemble the area in the James Bay Basin.
- It also has area houses with signs saying “Dump the Dump Now”. How close is the plan to put a regional dump near the conservation area?
Evidence of people in the information signs and walkway are more welcome than the air traffic. Surely there must be a way to make engines quiet and our impact less big.
- The larch is one of the few needle trees that is also deciduous
- The berries are changing in the shorter days but the sky was entirely blue. The last time we were at Mer Bleu just at the second last curve of the boardwalk, it clouded over suddenly and started to rain.
- That upper right corner picture is cotton grass again, in case you were wondering.
- Funny how some march over the boardwalk in a timed powerwalk as if they were in any mall and others chat in a church-voice hush, while others use their outdoor voice as if they were at a ballgame. But mostly, there are few people.
- I’m not sure what the plant on the left is. Dad taught me the one on the right is called Indian tobacco. No one else seems to use that name for it. It’s a variety of Curly Dock. Some species are native, some not. They are poisonous to sheep, cattle and chickens, but humans can digest them. “When compared to spinach, curly dock has “… 1/3 more protein, iron, calcium, potassium, beta carotene and phosphorus.” [source]
- As a little kid I collected it up when it turned browner than that fern above, darker than an old penny, and rolled it in maple leaves and smoked it. The smoke was sweet and amusing but I didn’t get the point I didn’t think.
- This was to be Wordless Wednesday but given all the words, maybe we’ll bump it to Thursday 13 instead.
. Cedars and pines thin out and redden to a degree over winter but the larch, or tamarack, goes completely bald.
Quote: ““Democracy is not just the right to vote, it is the right to live in dignity.” ― Naomi Klein
- Man Celebrates 20 years with Schizophrenia
- Bless the small town newspaper for their spin as the subjects want it told.
- A large media newspaper has the mandate: you need to buy us to know the worst thing going on in the world at the moment.
- A local newspaper, often delivered for free, has the mandate: this is what people you will meet are doing for our community.
- Why should one be a pawn for someone else’s priorities for their gains instead of your benefits?
- With more centralization, what matters to individuals doesn’t weigh as much as the aggregate. Local reppresentation loses to rubber necking competitions.
- When I taught ESL using a newspaper, I often used the local section.
- Partly I don’t want to stomach disaster at 9 a.m. Partly war refugees don’t need more triggers in the safe space of learning.
- Several times I got objections for my “soft news” angle. The class was often under 10% male to about 1/3 male but all the objections came from the guys. (Incidental gender of those people?)
- Local news is also timely but has less amnesia as the next thing washes up. The same direction over the city scape of low or high density housing can continue for years of articles. It debates on slow scale things that matter instead of presenting what’s already a done thing.
- Hidden Harvest Volunteers harvest apples, service berries and nut trees. About 10% of the food trees that could be used are on their list. The food goes to food programs in part.
- 160 people come to a street party and get the police permission to close off their street to socialize.
- Joa Anne Guimond is running a gratitude project called Dare to be Grateful.
See other Thursday 13s.
Quote: “Anything that increases the degree of difficulty in the poem’s making is to be sought out.” ~ Diane Lockward
Relentlessly new days dawn.
- Even with my “broken wing” (photo by sweet hubbykins at Purdyfest),
and days before the doctor even receives xrays and ultrasound scans. Almost 4 months of this shoulder getting worse. (Impatient for “normal”.)
- Marriage habits of successful couples (rings true).
- What’s Writing for? my response is #7 in the On Writing series.
- Comedy minute: Are you a real writer? Check at the handy flowchart and If writers were paid like other professionals by Melanie Gillman.
- This could be handy: How to write a cover letter for a literary submission.
Is this lake big enough for us both? Yep, and no one is ever alone in the world. At a zoomed in level there are always so much life even in a water drop.
- An article on putting mental health on par with normalcy of other physical health.
Our day’s garden harvest: scarlet runner beans, cherry tomatoes and our first pepper.
- Did you see this? Burglars steal computers. Police come. Non-profit workers worry. Another police call. Computers are returned with apology note.
We float even when we dimple the surface where we sink.
Things are duckier than it feels, even in the rain. Quacking in the rain…
- Literary Landscapes is tonight at 6:30 EST and I’ll be interviewing Steve Artelle.
Quote: “Purity of mind and idleness are incompatible.” -Mahatma Gandhi
Hoping for slow down time warp effect.
13 Considerations for camping/cottaging:
- Resetting the body clock by the stars and change these city eyes back to normal ones.
- Navigate by the moon instead of as adeptly as the average dung beetle.
- How many cookies to bring?
(I’ll bud in here)
- What to sleep on?
Sleeping bag? check.
- Air mattress? Sadness of flatness due to cactus years ago. Could patch. (Look at clock.) Won’t.
- Loblaws has an air mattress on sale for $22 (instead of $50 or $29 at Canadian Tire regular price.) yǒu qù de (interesting) 有趣的
- Bringing cards, books, ice, fruit.
- Rain. 雨. yǔ.
- It will rain. yǔ betcha.
- We aren’t made of sugar.
- Wearing sling. Bringing advil. (And eyes peeled for hypospray.)
- Zǒu ba ！ 走吧！: Let’s go!
Quote: “Stop trying to shrink the world into the size of a self-help book. It doesn’t fit[...] Reading about how to be a pilot doesn’t make you a pilot. Plane gonna crash.” ~ Laurie Ann Fuhr