Sunny as a bee’s behind, isn’t it.
Tiny little plants are coming along. Do you suppose we’ll get peppers? This year in the cage we aren’t liable to lose them as they finally ripen. Elsewhere all kinds of experiments including growing curry. Who knew. Thought that came off bottling plants, little glass tubes plucked off full of powder.
The tube skylight installed over a few hours is casting a diffuse light over the half-ripped out kitchen floor.
So, was going to show you “my” caterpillars. Or the small press fair, but Flickr is down, as it has been so often since Yahoo bought it.
*sigh* I suppose I can point and it will be up again eventually.
Can I embed instagram here? I don’t think I get instagram anymore than I get Tumblr. I am bucking the trend of time propelling us forward by regressing in my internet savvy at more than the inverse of Moore’s Law. How about you go to Instagram, see the reno. The new flooring is about 1/4 in. Which is an astounding rate.
Hm, how about this, if you’re on GoodReads, you can enter a contest to win the pet radish, shrunken. It runs until Sunday and 3 copies are up for grabs.
Soon, NYC. Then a radio show then it’s July. How crazy is that. There are some gaps in between, but still.
Maybe I’ll go for a walk instead. Walks are good. Maybe I’ll photograph the garden. Could happen.
Why am I looking for something for you to do? Mother Hen Impulse clucks up again, pardon me. I’m sure you can self-govern.
I read that article on healthy and unhealthy couples and it seems to me there are a few models of conversation:
- elicit to avoid self-reveal,
- offer to get reciprocal offers to connect,
- offer with no interest in hearing, perhaps turn taking the monologue to appear like dialogue or
- keep it light and minimal while monitoring for something better
Who uses which strategy dominantly? The behaviors come from reasons, and habit is sometimes the reason. An unexamined ham in a large pan with the end cut off because that’s what mom and grandma did.
The 4th Scenario happens in interstitial events among strangers but some people can zoom in on real connection. 3rd scenario seems inept but may be at its core most egoist. But if all people need is a witness and to express, maybe an intricate dance is just superfluous art. Offering in the 2nd case seems the most healthy and yet sometimes seems self-serving. It puts the ball in the other court. Eliciting makes me feel drained, insecure and sometimes flattered but not connected.
Sometimes it seems I have trouble jumping skip rope to some conversations but part of that is trying to speak with so many. Now and again I meet people with which conversation is easy and natural, whether agreeing, disagreeing, overlapping or not. I realize I sometimes skewer myself unnecessarily. I remember, it’s not all about competencies, but something else. A willingness. A compatible energy. Synchrony for reasons outside of either person’s control. A right time and place.
Going out without camera gear. No phone. No way to instagram, email. No way to tweet. Not even a notebook or companion to point. Left with the thing itself without being intermediary conduit. Citizen reporter is culpable for the world. As citizen is paying attenti
My intentions outpace me. It feels absurd to make a list of all I want to do. If it mattered, surely it would be unforgettable? But I get caught up in immediate things. Urgent vs important. Vying importances. Life maintenance vs long term. Pacing vs. racing.
Weeds outrace me.
Also there’s this swelling that distracts.
Not that swelling.
On my finger joint.
I like weeding without gloves even when it dries and roughens my hands but yesterday I grabbed something under the Variegated Leaves Whose Runners will take Over the Universe that turned a slash of my finger purple and raised. It was only like that for an hour but today the same area is swollen red and feels to bend. Hm. Oops. A lump under there. A thorn in my paw? The immune system seems to be on top of it and it goes down by the hour. But still.
What you feel immediately is in contact. Sure other uncontrollables are constantly erupting, earthquakes, greed, avarice, disease, racisms, a raft of -isms and smaller stupidities. Seeing what happens when you try to recook unpopped corn kernels. Smoggy orange fine mist of smoke that makes the cat vomit and causes the house to be aired out for hours, as it happens. Now you don’t need to test that rule yourself. I’m going to write that under Be Of Use to Others. Check.
Much to do. Distinct lack of Give a Fuck. Motivation seems to have fobbed off to Guatemala or somewhere. But then, it doesn’t matter how you feel. There’s following thru on plans, doing a good job. If you waited to feel well to do anything, nothing would happen except bed sores. When I try to apply myself to my ostensible goals, I write another poem on cows. Really body? As directable as dreams sometimes. Cows? What’s with all the cow poems?
And chem toilets. But that makes sense. Why do we filter and purify water just to defecate in it. It makes no sense as a system. Like cutting down trees to bleach to soak blood then landfill. 1 generation system. Menstrual cups exist. Why a disposal war-century type program? Bah, humans.
She is really a jumping and roaring beastie, not a smiling snorer only.
One moment always is disproportional.
And this article on Dying of Exposure by Aruna D’Souza on the writer’s life is good. example,
the impact their decision, to write for free, might have on the larger economics of writing. There were comments from artists who felt guilty (I assume) about their decision to forego pay in order to make art at any cost. These commenters were, for the most part, people who still believed in passion projects and who may not have wanted to admit (to themselves or others) that they weren’t buying their next meal on passion—that they had the privilege, perhaps in the form of a wealthy partner or a previous career or family support, to pursue their passions without ending up destitute.
Patrons have patrons have patrons. An interconnected web.